What Is Failure?

Edition #86 — Saturday, October 7, 2006

Last week I watched "Lost in La Mancha." It's a 2002 documentary about producer Terry Gilliam's failed attempt to make The Man Who Killed Don Quixote. What was to be an epic film ended in disappointment as money, time and motivation killed what may have been a great project.

We don't celebrate failure within our culture. We like our winners. We don't want to be reminded of the pain of losing. It's how we are raised. I therefore found it ironic to watch an excellent film about a film whose own excellence may never be realized.

And Now For Something Completely Different

Terry Gilliam is by no means a "loser" as failure would often imply. For those unfamiliar with his name, he is a founding member of the Monty Python's Flying Circus comedy troupe. He acted in and created animations for the hit BBC television series, as well as for the movies that include Monty Python and the Holy Grail, The Life of Brian and The Meaning Of Life. This alone makes him a living legend to loyal fans of the hit comedy troupe.

Beyond the Python successes, Terry is also a veteran film maker with several box office hits under his belt, including 12 Monkeys, The Fisher King, and more recently The Brothers Grimm and Tideland. Terry is a winner, obviously, yet the La Mancha film misadventure highlights his failure to make a long-standing personal dream come true. It shows that even successful people can fail.

We can only fail if we have the courage to attempt something in the first place. That's the catch: in order to fail, you have to do something unfamiliar and often daring; something for which you will be judged, if ever you should finish what you started.

Not many of us do. I know a lot of people with plans and no follow through. Wasted potential. It's one of the things I dread in my own life — to reach for great heights but never achieve them for lack of sufficient wing power. I have had many small successes, many of them personal, but my main projects, the ones I dream of realizing one day, all remain works in progress. Much like me, the person. But I do see constant progress.

It's A Long Way To The Top

Watching this documentary film, I was awe struck by the endless dedication and the enormous amount of preparation that goes into the making of a film. The acting seems almost an afterthought in light of how much goes on before a line is ever spoken. It's a wonder that a film ever gets made considering the complexity of the process. I now have a greater appreciation for those films that do make it across the finish line, if only for the fact that they succeeded against such great odds as time, weather, money, insurance companies, studio heads, and the explosive potential of the many creative egos involved.

Actor Johnny Depp was to star in Terry's movie. Out-takes from his performances alone would indicate that this would have been both a fun and worthwhile movie to see. But it may never be seen. And that is how it is. In the end, it is not always an obvious deficiency that puts an end to what would have been a great enterprise. It may be something as simple as bad weather, or not having enough money to cover the costs.

And yet, is that kind of failure really a loss? Or is losing what we do if we are so afraid of failure that we never dare to dream, or begin some great and meaningful project only because we fear the outcome may not be as good as we had imagined it? And what lessons and wisdom do we lose along the way for not trying? Many, I suspect. So, for now, I am happy with my own list of failures because they are teaching me how better to succeed. And as long as I have a pulse, nothing is impossible.

Think about that when next you consider the obstacles of a thing rather than its potential to bring you joy. Then take a break and watch Monty Pythons' The Life Of Brian, or The Fisher King. I recommend them both as worthy proof of what can be achieved when we don't say no to ourselves. Thank you, Terry Gilliam, for these treasures, and many more.

Until the next time,
Roland K.


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