It's Okay To Be Gay, M'kay?

Edition #77 — January 14, 2006.

Brokeback Mountain

The release of Brokeback Mountain, the first openly gay feature film about two cowboys in love, has caused less of a negative stir than might have been anticipated. I guess the hateful were too busy, with Christmas and all...

If I were still in high school, I know I would have been referring to this film as "Bend Over Mountain" or something equally derisive and mean-spirited. Back then I was still too naive, angry, and without enough life experience to think clearly for myself about such issues.

Big mouth, little brain. That phase lasted far too long from what I recall. Today, when I see people in love, it fills me with joy. I'm happy because they are happy. And when I see two men, or two women who love one another deeply, I feel the same kind of joy for them, perhaps even more.

Love Is Love

Why more? I see their love as a triumph for I know that gay couples have struggled for the right to love one another in ways that generic heterosexuals never had to. If you are straight and fall in love, people are happy for you. If you are gay, you have to realize that your joy is going to repulse a lot of people, or even make them angry. That's because they're scared, and still in high school, emotionally. Unfortunately, the most regressed individuals in the world also seem to be the most vocal. There seems to be a direct correlation between ignorance and volume.

As liberated as I am with the concept of gay relationships, I still have some hangups though. For instance, I still don't feel comfortable watching two men kissing amorously in front of me. Then again, I don't want to watch anyone kissing amorously in front of me. Get a room, I say! I can always rent the video later...

Yet despite some residual prejudices, I've watched myself become a better person for accepting that homosexuality is part of our world, just as heterosexuality is. Accepting the presence of gay people wasn't really a choice I had to struggle to make. It was more the process of surrendering all the social fears and conditioning I'd acquired. This allowed me to invite reality back into my life; to embrace diversity rather than run from it.

What's Got Your Attention?

Fear is always a barrier between you and love. When you love, you do not fear, when you fear, you do not love. That's not to say that if you're in love you shouldn't also be afraid of eating poisonous mushrooms. But if all you ever think about is avoiding poisonous mushrooms, you are living a restricted life. Your heart will have contracted when love requires you to expand. But you can't. Fear's narrow focus leaves no room for anything else, especially love. Gay people are not poisonous mushrooms. Get over it.

If our entire focus is upon guarding ourselves from what we fear on the outside, then we'll never have the peace of mind to learn about ourselves from the inside. And that is, in my opinion, the one and only agenda of being human.

Look inside. Is your own intolerance making you seem like a poisonous mushroom to someone else? If the fear mongers of the world realized that they are as much feared and reviled as those they point their fingers at, then perhaps they'd wise up and change their approach to communicating. After all, underneath all the teeth gnashing and weeping, all they're saying is: "I'm afraid of gay people. Help me." I think they'd also agree that we could do with a little less hatred in our world right about now...

Killing Joy — Why Fear Is Food To Some

Yet no matter what heights we may aspire to in our quest for joy, there will always be those who feed on negativity. Fear brings them attention, power and money — fear of terrorism, Satan, drugs, and violent crime.

Such people refuse truth or reasoning because their enterprise depends upon maintaining a black, oppressive cloud over humankind. They shun enlightenment because it will disrupt their power supply. Just imagine, if our world suddenly turned kind, caring and compassionate overnight — how would some of these Lords Of Fear stay in power? How would they pay for their mansions, limousines, and their mistresses?

Some people need our fear, guilt and shame for their own dark plots to succeed. Gangbangers need us to be afraid of their guns and pitbulls so they can do as they want in our neighbourhoods; President Bush needs Americans to be afraid of terrorists so he can do what he wants with America; and hateful, intolerant religious leaders need us to be afraid of homosexuals so that they can stay in the God business.

Fearmongers fan the flames of controversy in order to divide and conquer our minds and our cultures. Without fear there is peace. And no one wants peace. There's no money in it. Trust is not good in a fear economy. You can't sell weapons or wrinkle cream to friendly, contented people. They have to be scared enough to try to buy paradise, peace, or eternity...

And that's why killing joy is such a big business - it feeds the fear economy. TV shows survive on violence, conflict, and fear. Any movie that hints at love or tolerance is labelled a "chick flick." This is a strong indicator that something in our world is askew. We've tilted toward suffering and those who profit by it are hoping our pain never ends.

The Stench Of Spiritual Decay.

Ironically, some religions perpetuate our suffering by being too idealistic and inflexible for human spiritual development to occur. Imagine if Microsoft was a religion and its scriptures told believers to only use a Commodore 64 — an ancient and now useless relic of personal computing. How much would our creative potential be stifled if forced to a crawl by reverting back to these old machines? If not for those daring spirits who look ahead to the future, we'd all still be hauling our drinking water from the river in dirty buckets.

Fifteen years ago, it was not possible to publish a newletter in this way. To our good fortune, technology has kept up with our creative spirit, and even inspired new frontiers of communication. Do our religions offer us the same forward momentum? No, they don't. Most religions are satisfied with buckets — although in Rome they're made of gold. And opening lines of communication isn't their strong suit.

Nowadays, fear of the future is rampant among many religions because they realize that only simple minded people can be controlled and dominated. Middle Eastern theocracies are a prime example of religion trying to force the Commodore 64 back upon the masses. But Christian fundamentalism isn't far behind in its stampede toward the past. It too relies upon standard issue fears and intolerance to guide its followers toward some exclusive paradise far away from everyone else.

This doesn't leave much room to grow. Yet grow we must, and the walls of illusion are shaking and crumbling before us. And as we grow up spiritually, religions seem to be at a standstill. They are rigid institutions whereas we are vibrant, flexible and evolving souls. This disparity shows especially in those religions which address its members as sheep, or children, not as equal partners in a quest to improve our world. After all, who put them in charge of us anyway — God? Then why are the world's religions divided against each other? Makes no sense.

The Fine Art Of Name Calling.

We're more enlightened today. The notion of "good" and "evil" only sells where people are intellectually malnourished and isolated from progress — and kept in perpetual fear. Yet anyone who has ventured to think beyond the limits of their upbringing knows that labelling others good or evil and earmarking them accordingly for eternal joy or suffering seems more like a high school popularity contest than the tenets of an enlightened civilization. It is only a game. But some have forgotten that.

We must find a more enlightened way of communicating than branding each other with foolish monikers such as "The Axis of Evil," or "The Great Satan." What does evil mean if everyone is evil to someone else? Nothing. It says "I disagree with how you live." That's all.

As such, how can something that occurs naturally be branded evil? Which brings me back to the topic of this essay. Homosexuality is as prevalent in the animal kingdom as it is with humans. Primates regularly express a same sex leaning. Yet for some reason, there is no Coalition Of Morally Outraged Zoologists Against Animal Gayness trying to save these straying simians from themselves and certain eternal damnation in Monkey Hell.

Religion must not be used as a social weapon to put ourselves above others, whether based upon belief, income, or sexual orientation. We are not dogs, after all, so why must we form our exclusive little packs and protect ourselves by growling into the shadows of an unknown wilderness?

We need more tolerance, everywhere. If we had more tolerance, we wouldn't have to choose between competing religions, or feeling cursed for being born a woman instead of a man, poor instead of rich, or gay instead of straight.

Political Correctness: Pretending To Be Nicer.

We need to embrace diversity, not shun it. Historically, there are many identities which carry a social stigma within a white, male dominated culture, such as being black, Jewish, Arabic, female, or mentally ill. Any noticeable difference — even being unattractive, or poor — invites ridicule and segregation. To counteract this tendency, we have developed political correctness as a way to pretend that those tendencies toward fear and hatred don't exist within us.

In that light, the one thing that the gay movement has going against it is fear of dissension. Being gay has come under the protective umbrella of political correctness wherever tolerance and compassion are preached. So if you say something bad about Brokeback Mountain, it's no longer just an opinion about the movie but an assault upon gay people.

Paranoia always distorts the truth, it makes us afraid to be honest. If a white male businessman fires an employee for incompetence, does the motive become suspect if the employee is a black female, or a homosexual? As a white, Anglo-Saxon male I know that political correctness has allowed the concept of "discrimination" to distorts our perceptions with guilt. The outcome is an increasing tolerance for incompetence and a reverse discrimination against white, heterosexual males. Am I getting through to you, honky?

Political correctness is something we must watch out for in all social spectrums, not just where race, religion, or sexual preferences are concerned. US President, George W. Bush, illustrated the dangers of blind tolerance when he dared Americans with the challenge: "You're either with us, or you're with the terrorists." (paraphrased). And because no one wanted to appear to be "against" America, it gave Bush free reign to sell America's reputation and freedom for the sake of corporate and military interests. It's amazing what a little guilt can accomlish.

The point being: let's make sure we don't wind up allowing gay people to go first in line for social opportunities just because we feel guilty for having been so closed-minded and intolerant of them in our past.

But luckily, I don't think gay people want to invade Iraq to seize its oil industry. They just want us to stop throwing stones at them. I can do that. How about you?

Gene Shalit: Ending On A Note Of Irony

I haven't actually seen Brokeback Mountain so I don't know if the film has artistic merit or not. One person who did see it and lived to write a bad review was entertainment reporter Gene Shalit. He broke away from the politically correct herd and had the audacity to look at the film in a less than flattering way. He even called the film's lead character a "sexual predator." Some are obviously upset with him because they don't know whether his opinions are based upon an anti-gay sentiment or just an anti-bad movie sentiment.

Let me reassure the writers and producers of Brokeback Mountain that there is nothing to fear from this man. I suspect that he's even one of your own. I mean, just look at his picture — who would go around looking like the road manager for the Village People and still be anti-gay? Not Gene, Gene (the dancing machine?) Shalit. I have no proof of whether he is gay, but his moustache and bowtie definitely are.

Can moustaches be gay? (I'll consider that another time.) Until then, keep your chaps on, and don't ride into the sunset without a little latex between you and destiny. Oh, and stop eyeing those sheep, pilgrim.

Till next time, peeps.

Roland Kriewaldt



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