Disenchanted?
(Shut Up And Keep Voting!)

Edition #68 — April 24, 2005

There's nothing sadder than to be a Canadian voter right now, facing another potential federal election without a decent candidate in sight.

Our current prime minister, Paul Martin, and wanna-be emperor, Stephen Harper, are Canada's equivalent to the Bush and Kerry vegetable combo election platter: boring! Two privileged guys running for the top leadership spot since no truly qualified contender wants the job.

Yeah sure, we have a third party NDP candidate, Jack Layton. I like him better, but most people are still too scared of him. They don't trust anyone that hasn't let them down before. Their voting hearts and habits are with the trusty liberal and conservative parties. They, at least, know how to do corruption right.

Hey — Didn't We Meet In Bermuda?

Our country's current leader came in corrupt. Long before the election, Canada's national tv network, CBC, ran a documentary on him to warn us in advance. It clearly showed he was a known tax evader ten years ago — yes, as our own minister of finance! As principle owner of a major Canadian shipping line, he registered his business off-shore, dumped his Canadian crew, and then hired oppressed foreigners too desperate to escape poverty to complain about slave wages.

What did we, the Canadian people, do in response? We united in moral outrage and made him our Prime Minister. Why? Because, quite frankly, there was no one else to choose from. And again, people were scared of Jack Layton. He smiled too much and talked sense. Very suspicious.

Okay, there was another candidate, that snobbish-type conservative kid who I suspect will show his true partisan colors once he seizes the throne, heaven forbid. Behind him, in the shadows, are such past conservative luminaries as Brian Mulroney and Mike Harris. I can only suspect that life with Stephen Harper will mean yet another conservative feeding frenzy that will leave the country faced-down in the bushes, underwear twisted at its ankles; violated by a nice man who promised the country a little dinner and dancing. And then the clean up will begin, just like it did when Mike Harris and his boys were finished date-raping Ontario.

To hell with that, I say. Haven't we been bitten far more than twice before? Let's be shy this time. Or at least wild and unpredictable.

Which reminds me: what's the US federal deficit up to now since Bill Clinton left office? Surprise! A conservative intellect with liberal spending habits. Maybe it's just me, but I always wonder how people like that even qualify to get near the White House grounds, let alone become the leader of the country.

Oh yeah, I forgot. Because there's no one else to choose from. Not unless they have multinational conglomerate sponsors buying their air time.

Personally, I'm tired of watching the same old vampires gorge themselves on money, power and corruption while nations lie bleeding in their wake. But what can be done? Call another election! Yeah, maybe that'll fix it. Maybe someone with slightly smaller fangs will get in. Okay, maybe there's hope. Lets see, who's running for Canada...

Damn, it's the same two guys as last time. Plus that Jack Layton fella. Oh heck, I think I'm gonna give him a shot at the nation's jugular next vote. What's he gonna do, track dirt onto our dirt floor?

Let's face it folks: there is no difference between any two shamelessly greedy, ambitious men who deny their own accountability when they screw up. None. And so I remain disenchanted. Mostly because I, too, don't have the answers. And I'm damn sure that whoever scams enough voters to get into power won't have them either.

Maybe we can convince Saddam Hussein to come out of retirement. He's got great hair and that rustic, Mediterranean manliness about him. I think that's necessary for strong leadership. Plus, he should have proven experience as a liar. Quick, what's the area code for Iraq? We need an evil dictator to save us from these lying crooks.

signed, One "X" of Many,
Roland K.



Subscribe to free newsletter
Search Realitycheckers.com