The Perfect Thirst — A Contest!

Edition #13 — Sat, 11 Nov 2000

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY, HAPPY ANNIVERSARY...

Hi there folks!

Well, today is the first Lunar Year Anniversary of the Realitycheckers Newsletter. It's the 11th day of the 11th month, and a full moon to boot - I mean, can it get any better than this???!!! (Sure nuff, it can!)

A special thank you goes out to Phil, my webhost at Syne Post Communications.

SKEPTICAL INQUIRERS WANT TO KNOW...

I'm aware that there may still be some spiritual skeptics out there who don't want to forego the comfort of their "2+2=4" worldview. I'm happy to report that I now have definitive proof that wisdom and order are, indeed, guiding our Universe.

The proof? Certainly!

I'm sure we can all agree that if the American movie industry is any indication, we must assume the average U.S. citizen demands a steady diet of sex and violence in his/her life, right? Catch a 30 second glimpse of WWF wrestling shows, or a pro football game - men hitting one another while sexy women in short dresses cheer them - and you'll see what I mean.

Then there's the popularity of AHHHNOLD "Too mutch tokk - noht enaff shoooting" Schwartzenegger, Sly "Punch your way out of poverty" Stallone and Bruce "I've got glass in my foot - now you're really dead!" Willis to help support my claim. Oh, and Pamela "Oopsey! - my PSI is seriously, seriously low! [giggle, giggle]" Anderson...

In light of this cultural atmosphere of cruel, savage sex and hot steamy violence, what are the odds that the very men (still?) running for President of that great nation would be named:

(... are you ready?)

{{{ "BUSH" }}} + {{{ "GORE" }}} !?!?!

I rest my case.

[Don't make me have to explain...Foreign country mailing list members not familiar with English "slang" can send me an email to bush(AT)realitycheckers(DOT)com and I'll tell you what you're missing out on...]

OK - enough of that! Or is it?

HOPE YOU LIKE STORIES!

The other day I was inspired to write this parable. I thought that it might be worth sharing with you; so here it is:

THE PERFECT THIRST

"I'm thirsty; come, let us drink from our bucket of water" said the one man to the other, as both were crossing the desert.

"Wait, and drink from the tap instead," said the other.

"What tap?" asked the first.

"The tap in the kitchen of the house I shall build after I have dug the well" replied the other.

Years later, two skeletons were found: one holding a shovel inside a round, shallow grave; the other with his head trapped inside a bucket full of sand. Overhead, a small white cloud silently drifted across the clear blue sky...

(The Perfect Thirst, © 2000, Roland Kriewaldt)

(Holy Interactivity Bathead!): IT'S A CONTEST!

OK - here's the plan. Whoever sends me an email with the moral of this story, The Perfect Thirst, will be entered into a draw to win one of 3 copies of my book: Reality Check, Second Thoughts On Everyday Life, Volume 1.

(hey, my autograph alone's gotta be worth what, at least 2 or 3 bucks easy, right?) So how about it? - wanna give it a try? Email your answer to: stillthirsty(AT)realitycheckers.com

(entries must be received before December 11, 2000 i.e. the next full moon)

REALITY CHECK STRIKES AGAIN!

I've been working away day after day on my new version of Reality Check. It's coming along well - maybe early next year will see the new version in the stores. It's bigger, it's longer, it's rude and it's crude...you've never seen anything so...

...yeah - I'm lying!

I thought I'd share a couple of the newly reborn Reality Checks with you, in advance of their taking the literary world by the throat in what Siskel and Hibbert have called:

"The most refreshing infusion of sex and violence that Americans have seen in a long f...ing time! It's really "killer!" It's so good, you won't know whether to hit someone, or have sex with them! A must buy for all consumers! - a must read for all illiterates! 'Guaranteed to make a sound!' says The Fallen Tree."

...OK, OK, I know! - I'm lying again!

This time, rather than just questions, I'm adding a paragraph of "Roland-ish" commentary after each one. Here's a little taste:

HAPPINESS: "Is there a means to your happiness that doesn't require others to change?"

How easy is it for you to change some aspect of yourself, like your eating habits, or how you behave, think or feel? Would you recommend that others base their own happiness upon your life transforming one day? What if change were being forced upon you for their sake: would you tolerate such extortion? It all seems so delusional, this waiting on others for one's own happiness. You'd never do it...would you?

TRUST: "Do you distrust others for potentially harbouring the same self-serving motives as you?"

The fear of losing inhibits trust. Feeling too close to death or catastrophe can create a Poverty Mentality about not risking resources that could save your having to suffer - "if worse came to worse". This makes your time, money and freedom almost non-negotiable. Do you fear commitment, or compulsively seek discounts? Maybe you suffer from chronic PM! Luckily, it won't keep you from wanting what others have...

LOVE: "Is society's definition of a relationship destroying yours?"

If you wrote a dictionary, the definitions would mostly reflect your own life experiences. But you probably rely more upon society's wording and imagery to define your existence, thereby creating expectations which may only be met by your imagination. The problem with that is that, unlike your imagination, people are real - which is why they won't fit into your rigid little boxes of expectation as easily as your wishful thoughts do. So don't believe everything you read! And hold on to what's real - it's better than fiction.

"Like the boyd says...'meep, meep'...that's all, folks!"

All the best to you.

Roland K.


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